An Episode of Star Trek as Written by Dr. Seuss ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast, But still the trip will last and last. We'll have two days til we arrive, But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't, We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't. The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be? Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me! Worf: Not me! Picard: Computer, how long until we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take? We could, I think, quite safely make Extinguishers from tractor beams And stop the fire, or so it seems... Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day! Again I say, Hurray! Hurray! Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much. You've saved our lives, our ship and such. Troi: We still must save the Indran planet! Data: Which by the way is made of granite... Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist. We understand, we get your gist. But can we get our ship to go? Please, make it so, Please make it so! Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires And that's what started all the fires. Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no! We need to go! We need to go! Troi: We must seek out this traitor spy, And lock him up and ask him why. Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental. I say we give him problems dental. Troi: Are any Romulan ships around? Have scanners said that they've been found? Or is it Borg or some new threat We haven't even heard of yet? I sense no malice in this crew. Now what are we supposed to do? Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us. They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!" I can't just sit and let them die! We must attempt, we must try! Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon. Crusher: But they may be dead by tomorrow noon! Commercial Break, Commercial Break! How Long Will These Dumb Ads Take? Worf: The saboteur is in the brig! He's very strong and very big! I had my phaser set on stun -- A zip! A zap! Another one! He would not budge, he would not fall. He would not stun, no, not at all! He changed into a stranger form All soft and purple, round and warm. Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf? Did you see this creature morph? Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly. Hit him on the jaw, quite squarely. Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend! Our troubles now are at an end! Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly And orbit yonder Indran sky! Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go...? Geordi: Yes, sir, we can. Picard: Then make it so! Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day! Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!